


Jinkies, I’m gay

by Catpal



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24567658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catpal/pseuds/Catpal
Summary: Jen reflects on all the things she loves about Judy and realises she might be a bit gay for her best friend
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66





	Jinkies, I’m gay

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it

It was hard for Jen to pinpoint what she loved most about Judy, or how she had become so dependent on the brunette. The thought of going even a day without seeing her was torture and in such a short time Jen had become to rely heavily on having her best friend around. 

Judy Hale was like the first sip of coffee after a long, hard night. Coming home to her was like having the worst day at school and then being greeted with a hug from your Mom and your favourite after school treat. Being loved by her was like winning the lottery, except you had never even bought a ticket. There were few people on the planet who deserved Judy’s love and attention and Jen could not believe she was one of them. Sure, she had loved Ted with her whole heart, had even been in love at the start. He had made her very happy in the beginning, and he had given her her two boys, for which she would be forever grateful. After a few years though, a distance had started to creep into their marriage and while they still loved each other, and were very fond of one another, their lives had become ever more seperate. They lived in the same house, they made parenting decisions together but they didn’t really live their lives as a unit. Their family had almost imperceptible split down the middle, that was never even noticed by Jen, until Ted had died and she’d held up a microscope to the past. 

With Judy, it was different. She felt more herself around Judy than she ever had with anyone. That feeling was addictive, the more time she spent with Judy, the more time she wanted to spend with her. 

In her quiet moments she was almost ethereal, with her flowing floral dresses and her constant and subtle cloud of essential oils, she would move around the kitchen, almost as if she were floating. Or else, stand in front of her easel, transfixed by whatever she was working on, transported by her imagination to a place that Jen would never fully have access to but was happy to visit for small moments as the brunette explained her process with a deep passion burning in her eyes. 

When she was loud, it was magical in its own way. She would yell at the TV, actually yell at it, as if the people on screen would hear her and it would change their course of action. Or when she got excited or passionate about a particular topic, her voice would slowly get louder and louder until she was almost yelling, but not quite; like when Charlie had told her that one of her favourite artists would be displaying their work in a local gallery and she had talked for 45 minutes about the genius of their brushstrokes and colour palette. Even though Jen hadn’t even known what she was talking about, she had sat enthralled, almost hypnotised by the younger woman’s hands as they moved about, punctuating her points. 

Sometimes Jen would catch herself wondering which Judy would be found in the bedroom, the quiet, shy and impassive Judy, or the loud, passionate, determined one. 

Judy’s smile was like literal sunshine, it changed her whole face, crinkling around her eyes, which literally sparkled. Like honest to God, there was a sparkle there that Jen had never seen in anyone else. It was impossible to get hit with a full blast Judy smile and not feel instantly good, no matter how bad your day may be going. Jen had seen it work on disgruntled grocery store workers, jaded wait staff and even on her own sons. On their own sons. Jen believed there was a particularly bright smile that was reserved only for her, but maybe it was just wishful thinking on her part. 

Really, Judy was the perfect parent for the boys. They had had Jen’s temper, her hotheaded fragility, for their whole lives and the brunette was the perfect juxtaposition for that. They were used to Jen’s poorly disguised rage always boiling just below the surface, had learned to be quick to anger themselves, but Judy was calm, like a balm that soothed the raw nerves of the Harding family’s irritated wounds. She had swept into their lives and she had made them whole again, she had mended wounds that had existed long before Ted was gone and she worked hard every day to make reparations for what she had taken from the boys, to fill their lives with so much love, it was almost impossible for them to feel like they were missing out on something. 

Jen was always finding reasons to touch Judy, putting her hand on the small of her back as she passed behind her, even if there was plenty of space to get around, or placing a hand on her thigh when they sat next to one another on the couch, or beside the pool, or sometimes even in the car. When Judy touched her it was like sparks flew through her body, the origin point being exactly where Judy’s skin brushed hers. She made excuses and found reasons to hug Judy as much as she could, to the point where they hugged whenever they parted ways and then again when they saw one another. More than once the two women had fallen asleep in the blonde’s bed, and Jen had awoken to find herself spooning or tangled around the younger woman, and she would pretend to be asleep, savouring the moment, her body tingling in each place their bodies met, until Judy moved away, leaving her feeling a strange emptiness in the pit of her stomach.

Judy filled the blonde’s thoughts all day long. She was the first thing Jen thought of in the morning and the last thing at night. She would spend hours thinking about the way Judy’s dresses skimmed the supple skin in the middle of her thighs as she walked, or how toned and lovely her calves looked when she wore heels and wedges, which was ninety percent of the time. Her mind often wandered to the way Judy’s lips looked so plump and inviting as they opened ever so slightly to exhale when she smoked a joint and her stomach often flipped when Judy looked up at her from under her bangs, her eyelashes batting. It was like a school girl crush. Except, as Jen stood at the back door to the patio, watching Judy stretch out on a pool chair, basked in the warm orange glow of a gorgeous sunset, her hair slightly tousled, wearing her favourite floral kimono over her pyjamas, Jen realised it wasn’t a crush. It was full blown, swing for the fences love. She was in love with her best friend. 

Shit, she was super gay for Judy Hale.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing these fics is getting me through working crazy hours in hospitality with crazy ridiculous stressful restrictions I hope you like reading it as much as I enjoy writing it


End file.
